X) ” Hello. Ben?

I) “Yes.”

X) “Great to chat with you!”

A conversation begins. I am along for a ride—– on a one-way street.

X) “I am tired. So tired. Yes, tired.”

X) “I’m running around. Running in circles. Yes, circles. Running around.”

X) “Too much to do. I can’t keep up. No. I just can’t keep up. No. I can’t keep up. Breakfasts. Power lunches. The chicken pot pie circuit. Too much to do.”

I)  “I had a frontal lobotomy.”

X) “That’s good. Good. Yes good.”

X) “I am soooo busy. Sooooo busy. So too are the kids. We are all running and racing. Sooooo busy.”

I) “I dyed my hair fuchsia then braided my armpit hair.”

X) “Great. That’s really great. Yes, great. I like my new hairdoo.”

I) “I decided to run away and join the circus.”

X) “Yup. Yup. Yup.”

I) “I’m the new guy under the big top. I get blown out of the cannon. The second option was feeding lions.”

X) “Ah ha. That’s right. Good. Good. Good.”

I) “Sky diving lessons today? Tomorrow is my competitive knitting night. Celtic step dancing on Wednesday. Friday—San Francisco Cable Car surfing. Want to come?”

X) “Oh, I’m so busy. I am running. I can’t keep up. Chasing my tail. Breathless! Running. Yes. Running.”

I) “I am adrift on an iceberg. Lost at sea with no life jacket.”

X) “That’s nice. Wonderful. Great. Nice. Yes. Nice. What about the weather. It’s cold?”

I) “I decided to get a tattoo of a donkey on my butt. You know I hate needles. They make me pass out. Turn blue.”

X) “Super. That’s great. I’m happy for you. Yes. Happy. Animals are lovely. Blue IS your color.”

I) “I think you are not listening.”

X) “Right. Right. Right. ”

X) “Yup. Yup Yup.”

I) “I’m considering applying for a job at Hooters. I want to be a Hooter Boy. I hear the tips are phenomenal. Yet, orange is not my color. I do have man tits. I hesitate filling out the application. What are your thoughts?”

X) “Oranges are nutritious. A lot of vitamin C. Oranges. Yes. Oranges. The best are from the Indian River region of Florida.”

X) “So good to talk with you! Don’t be a stranger. Come over! We’ll have coffee. We will talk more. I promise to call more often.”

I) “That will be………….”

Click.

 I stand in the kitchen–confounded–yet not surprised. The  lonely sound of a disconnected phone hums an acquard a silence. Stunned? Yes.

Surprised? No.

Jaded.I think so.

Hurt. Well yes.

Disappointed? I’ll say! 

Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. Right. Right. Right. Ya. Ya. Ya.

Brendan Ben Feeney